The Humor and Life, in Particular Web site |
Having a Senior Moment
I was always aware of the discounts. When my kids were toddlers, I shopped at Kroger every Wednesday—Senior Day— because that was my mother's morning out. I loved the silver–haired gentlemen who offered me coffee at the door and even flirted a little. As I strolled through the aisles, big band music brought back memories of my toddlerhood. Wow, I thought, all these old people here used to dance to those tunes.
As my kids grew older, my schedule loosened up and I broke out of my Wednesday routine. But now when I shop at Kroger on Wednesday, those elderly gentlemen are no longer flirting at the door. Probably some young person complained that flirting is a form of sexual harassment. But what really grabs me is that they now play music from the 60's . What I danced to! But still, it never sank in that I might be eligible for the 5% discount.
One day after church my husband and I went out for brunch with our friends Armin and Katie. "Let's go to IHOP," Armin said. "They have senior citizen specials."
"Nice for the rest of you," I said, "but I'm not that old yet."
Even though the waitress assured me I qualified, I preferred to project a youthful image by ordering blueberry pancakes and cream and let them eat from the old folks" menu.
The next morning I met my friend Sandy for coffee at the mall. As we stood in line at a fast food restaurant, I told her about my experience at IHOP. The young man behind the counter overheard me. "We give free coffee to seniors," he said.
Sandy, who isn't even 50, jumped on it. "Who cares how old some teenager thinks I am?" she said. "A buck's a buck." She didn't seem to care that I was in denial and willing to pay the price.
A few weeks ago, I saw some vases without price tags at Goodwill. When I asked the cashier about them, she said they were a dollar each.
"For that, I can buy them new at the dollar store," I said.
"This is Tuesday, Senior Citizen's day. You get 25% off."
"You're offering me the discount without even asking for ID?"
"Don't need to. Wanna buy em?"
OK. I surrendered. I'm no longer young and foolish enough to pass up a bargain, so I bought them. And I was bluffing about the dollar store anyway.
The next day, I told my friend John about my official passage into senior citizenship.
"Yeah," he said, "I was just joking with my dad that he now has a son who's a senior citizen. We can go out on the town together double–dipping on all the senior discounts."
Either I live in denial or I'm a slow learner, but somehow I managed to get nearly a full year into my golden years without realizing I'm eligible for senior discounts.
I was always aware of the discounts. When my kids were toddlers, I shopped at Kroger every Wednesday—Senior Day— because that was my mother's morning out. I loved the silver–haired gentlemen who offered me coffee at the door and even flirted a little. As I strolled through the aisles, big band music brought back memories of my toddlerhood. Wow, I thought, all these old people here used to dance to those tunes.
As my kids grew older, my schedule loosened up and I broke out of my Wednesday routine. But now when I shop at Kroger on Wednesday, those elderly gentlemen are no longer flirting at the door. Probably some young person complained that flirting is a form of sexual harassment. But what really grabs me is that they now play music from the 60's . What I danced to! But still, it never sank in that I might be eligible for the 5% discount.
One day after church my husband and I went out for brunch with our friends Armin and Katie. "Let's go to IHOP," Armin said. "They have senior citizen specials."
"Nice for the rest of you," I said, "but I'm not that old yet."
Even though the waitress assured me I qualified, I preferred to project a youthful image by ordering blueberry pancakes and cream and let them eat from the old folks" menu.
The next morning I met my friend Sandy for coffee at the mall. As we stood in line at a fast food restaurant, I told her about my experience at IHOP. The young man behind the counter overheard me. "We give free coffee to seniors," he said.
Sandy, who isn't even 50, jumped on it. "Who cares how old some teenager thinks I am?" she said. "A buck's a buck." She didn't seem to care that I was in denial and willing to pay the price.
A few weeks ago, I saw some vases without price tags at Goodwill. When I asked the cashier about them, she said they were a dollar each.
"For that, I can buy them new at the dollar store," I said.
"This is Tuesday, Senior Citizen's day. You get 25% off."
"You're offering me the discount without even asking for ID?"
"Don't need to. Wanna buy em?"
OK. I surrendered. I'm no longer young and foolish enough to pass up a bargain, so I bought them. And I was bluffing about the dollar store anyway.
The next day, I told my friend John about my official passage into senior citizenship.
"Yeah," he said, "I was just joking with my dad that he now has a son who's a senior citizen. We can go out on the town together double–dipping on all the senior discounts."
Uh–uh. I ain't ever getting that old.
©Susan Larson
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Susan Larson writes a weekly column for Gwinnett Daily Post, a suburban newspaper with a circulation of 70,000. Her column appears every Wednesday on the front page of the Lifestyle section of this newspaper. You can see her columns at the online site of The Gwinnett Daily Post below. Her columns also run on Susan's site, the "Grand Larson–e". Larson's also writes profiles for Senior News, a statewide monthly newspaper in Georgia.
You can read more of Susan's writings at the Gwinett Daily Post. In addition, you can read Susan's columns at Susan's website, the "Grand Larson–e".
Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking Sites.
It helps give the page "votes” and it helps you find this page later on!
©Margie Culbertson
Back to The Humor and Life, in Particular Home Page