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Annoy The Annoying Hunter
K.P. Nelson
1. When he returns home upset that he missed "the big one", inform him, in a serious tone, that you are extremely disappointed in him because the men in this family do not miss out on "the big one." Tell him that he is responsible for placing shame on the family name.
2. Buy some pink boxers and sneak them in his overnight bag. Try to place them inside of something, such as the sleeping bag, so they will fall out in front of the other significant hunters.
3. If he actually talks you into letting him hang his trophies on the wall, decorate them by tying pretty bows around the antlers.
4. When your home phone rings, answer, place the caller on hold, and tell him that Danny wants to know what he is wearing on this week's hunting trip.
5. Better yet, call Danny and tell him that your significant hunter wants to know which camouflage outfit he is wearing so he can plan his own attire.
6. While you are chatting on the phone with a friend, let him overhear you state your case on why you support gun control.
7. Call the cable company and cancel the hunting channel.
8. Place a floral scent pack in his hunting closet.
9. Rewash all of his hunting clothes and tell him, sweetly, that his clothes smelled like dirt so you spent the whole day washing them for him.
10. Let the kids clip pictures out of his hunting catalogs for an art project.
©Kelley Nelson
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Kelley Nelson's first professional writing effort was completed in the fall of 2007 with a short humorous book titled "The Sophisticated Life of a Hunter's Wife." She has been writing short stories for children in her family for a number of years. She recently made the decision to combine her creative abilities and naturally sarcastic personality to create short humorous stories regarding life with an obsessive hunter.
Kelley works full time as an HR Manager. She lives in Tennessee with her two young children and her "significant hunter" of 12 years.
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©Margie Culbertson
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