The Humor and Life, in Particular Web site
author:  Margie Culbertson

February/March 2008 Humor Contest Winner
Best Short Humor!

A Rock and Roll Fairy Tale


Luana Krause

SCENE ONE:  (Peggy Sue is helping her stepsisters, Rhonda and Barbara Ann, get ready for the ball. The girls are primping in front of a mirror.)

RHONDA:  Peggy Sue! Get me that pink taffeta dress right away! And the matching slippers Hurry up! I don't have all day!

PEGGY SUE:  Yes, Rhonda.

BARBARA ANN:  Peggy Sue! Fetch my pearl necklace. Now!

PEGGY SUE:  Yes, Barbara Ann.

BARBARA ANN:  Rhonda, help me decide which earrings to wear.

RHONDA:  I like the blue ones, sister. They bring out the color of your eyes.

PEGGY SUE:  I wish I could go to the ball, too.

RHONDA:  You? Go to the ball? Don't be ridiculous. You would never fit in.

BARBARA ANN:  The great pretender! Ha ha ha!

PEGGY SUE:  Don't be cruel! I can do the Loco–Motion as well as anybody.

BARBARA ANN:  Yes, but can you twist and shout?

PEGGY SUE:  Uh...well...

BARBARA ANN:  I thought so! You're out of your league, Peggy Sue.

RHONDA:  You remember what happened last year? At the hop?

PEGGY SUE:  Please, don't remind me. I was so humiliated.

RHONDA:  You drank too much wine and made out with Mister Bass Man.

PEGGY SUE:  But it wasn't my fault! He had that certain somethin'...he set the music thumpin'.

RHONDA:  Forget it, Peggy Sue. You're not going to the ball and that's final!

BARBARA ANN:  King Elvis has planned this ball so that the Duke of Earl can find a bride. And, baby, it won't be you!


PEGGY SUE:  Big girls don't cry, so I won't. (weeps) But I can't help it. I wish I could go to the ball. Looks like another night with tears on my pillow.


FAIRY GODMOTHER:  Little Darlin'? Do you need some help?

PEGGY SUE:  Who are you?

FAIRY GODMOTHER:  I'm your fairy godmother. But my friends call me Mary Lou.

PEGGY SUE:  Hello, Mary Lou.

FAIRY GODMOTHER:  So you want to go to the ball?

PEGGY SUE:  Oh, yes! The Duke of Earl is looking for a bride. (dreamily) He's so fine. He's a soft–spoken guy. I should give him a try.

FAIRY GODMOTHER:  Okay, Peggy Sue. I'll work my magic. But first we need a little heart–to–heart talk. I've heard about your previous relationships.

PEGGY SUE:  Are you talking about the boy from New York City? He was a travelin' man. I didn't have a chance.

FAIRY GODMOTHER:  And then there was...

PEGGY SUE:  That didn't last long. I met him on a Sunday, kissed him on Monday. Found him on a Tuesday and dated him Wednesday. I kissed him on a Thursday and he didn't call me Friday. When he showed up on Saturday, I said "Bye Bye, baby"!

FAIRY GODMOTHER:  What about the leader of the pack?

PEGGY SUE:  He was a loser. I kept nagging him to get a job, but he never did.

FAIRY GODMOTHER:  Your candor is refreshing. You can go to the ball. Just remember, you must be back here by midnight.

PEGGY SUE:  A curfew? Okay. Whatever. There's a moon out tonight and I'm ready to find my own true love.

SCENE TWO:  (The ball. King Elvis and the Duke of Earl are chatting near the punch bowl.)

ELVIS:  Well, Duke, we have quite a turnout tonight.

DUKE:  Tell me why we're doing this again?

ELVIS:  So you can find a bride.

DUKE:  Oh, right. I don't know if I'm ready to settle down. I'm still hung up on Donna...and Gloria...and Denise...and Sherry.

ELVIS:  After the way they treated you?

DUKE:  What can I say? I'm a bird dog.

ELVIS:  Good grief! Why do fools fall in love?

DUKE:  You got me.

ELVIS:  Did you read that book I gave you?

DUKE:  The book of love? Who wrote it, anyway?

ELVIS:  I don't know, but I think he was from New York City.

DUKE:  I wonder why my relationships always turn sour. All my girlfriends end up running around on me.

ELVIS:  Like Sue?

DUKE:  I don't want to talk about it.

ELVIS:  And after you planned that surprise birthday party for her, too.

DUKE:  She was sixteen, she was beautiful and she was mine.

ELVIS:  Until she ran away with that handy man.

DUKE:  Hey, we don't know it was the handy man. Those silhouettes on the shade weren't that distinct.

(PEGGY SUE makes a grand entrance at the top of the staircase, attracting the attention of ELVIS and DUKE)

DUKE:  Rama lama ding dong!

ELVIS:  Ditto!

DUKE:  It's my earth angel!

ELVIS:  When you dance, be sure to hold her tight.

DUKE:  See ya later, alligator!

(DUKE approaches PEGGY SUE)

DUKE:  Hello. I'm the Duke of Earl. Who are you?

PEGGY SUE:  Peggy Sue.

DUKE:  I love you, Peggy Sue.

PEGGY SUE:  You're coming on a little strong, Jack. Back off.

DUKE:  It's my party and I'll be an obnoxious boor if I want to.

PEGGY SUE:  Hey, you're kind of cute. Come a little bit closer.

DUKE:  Let's go out on the balcony where we can be alone. It's summertime and there's a blue moon.

PEGGY SUE:  Hold me, thrill me, kiss me!

DUKE:  I never knew it would be so easy to fall in love. Let's get married.

PEGGY SUE:  Wow, you work fast. But...okay.

(They kiss)

DUKE:  Come, go with me to the chapel of love.

PEGGY SUE:  In the still of the night?

DUKE:  Why not?

PEGGY SUE:  But will you still love me tomorrow?

DUKE:  Of course! Any ideas for our honeymoon?

PEGGY SUE:  Palisades Park? I'm dying for a lollipop.

DUKE:  Great idea! And then we can go on a sea cruise!


PEGGY SUE:  Oh no! My boyfriend's back!

DUKE:  Your boyfriend?

JOHNNY:  Hey there, Little Red Riding Hood. You sure are lookin' good.

PEGGY SUE:  I think you're in the wrong fairy tale.

JOHNNY:  Baby, it's our anniversary. We've been together for three weeks.

PEGGY SUE:  Get lost, Johnny. I'm with Duke now.

JOHNNY:  But life could be a dream, sweetheart.

DUKE:  You heard the lady. Get lost!

JOHNNY:  Okay, fine. But I just have one more thing to say, Peggy Sue. And you'd better listen:  Mother–in–law.


DUKE:  Hey, there's nothing wrong with my mother!

JOHNNY:  That's not what I heard. Word on the street is that your mother put the bomp in the bomp a bomp a bomp.

DUKE:  That's it! Put up your dukes!

JOHNNY:  Forget it. I'm leaving. You and Peggy Sue go ahead and get married, if that's what you want to do.

PEGGY SUE:  Thanks, Johnny.

JOHNNY:  Duke, just take good care of my baby.

DUKE:  You got it.

JOHNNY:  Peggy Sue, one fine day you'll look at me and you will know our love was meant to be. Bye bye, love.

PEGGY SUE:  Stay...just a little bit longer.

JOHNNY:  Goodnight, Sweetheart, goodnight.

(JOHNNY exits)

DUKE:  Peggy Sue, I love you.

PEGGY SUE:  Oh, Duke! I love you, too. Let's hang on to what we got.

DUKE:  Baby, it's you and me forever!


Luana is a freelance writer in Cheyenne, Wyoming. She's a member of the Northern Colorado Writer's Association and the Dramatists Guild of America. Her work has been published online at "Humor and Life, in Particular";"Nights and Weekends"; and "Laughter Loaf." She is a founding member of the Sunnyside Players, a local drama troupe for which she writes plays and performs. She has experience as an advertising copywriter and has a master's degree in psychology from the University of Northern Colorado. Her hobbies include drawing, photography, poetry, singing, playing piano & guitar, running, hiking, fishing, movies and baking.

Writers that have inspired her include Woody Allen, Steve Martin, Shakespeare, Erma Bombeck, Dave Barry, Stephen King, Billy Collins, Amy Tan, C.S. Lewis, Neil Simon, Danny Margulies, Noel Coward, Sam Shepard, Christopher Durang, and Edward Albee. You can read more of Luana's writing at her blog. Click HERE to visit.

©Margie Culbertson

Home Back to The Humor and Life, in Particular Home Page