The Humor and Life, in Particular Web site
author:  Margie Culbertson

June 2004 Humor Writing Contest Winner

Best Very Short Humor!

The Felon


Margaret B. Davidson

O'Hara lay curled in his wicker basket, feigning sleep. If Frances had observed more closely she might have noticed the occasional flick of a yellow tail, and the tic of an orange ear. But notice she did not, and thus her special St. Patrick's Day dinner was doomed.

Through slit lid, one green eye observed Frances season the beef brisket, then place it in a pan of hot fat. As the pungent aroma of searing meat filled the kitchen, one pink nose twitched in hungry anticipation.

As Frances lifted the meat from the pan and placed it on a large platter, O'Hara decided the time had come for a diversionary tactic. He unfurled from his basket, yawning, stretching his lithe body. He sidled three times around his mistress" legs, then advanced to the open kitchen door and quietly slipped through. Once in the conservatory, with seeming nonchalance, he sidled to the asparagus fern hanging from a hook in one sunny corner. Stretching his marmalade neck upwards, he clamped his teeth around a low–hanging tendril and bit it off. He chomped for a few seconds, sat and waited a minute or so more, then sashayed into the living room. Once there, he proceeded to heave loudly several times before regurgitating his snack onto a particularly pristine section of the light beige rug.

"Darn it, O'Hara, you've been into my plants again, haven't you?" As Frances rushed into the room, brandishing paper towel and spot remover.

Mission accomplished, O'Hara scooted into the kitchen, hit the counter–top with one agile jump, and Frances" special St. Patrick's Day dinner became history.

©Margaret B. Davidson

Margaret Davidson was born at the end of WW2 in Staffordshire, England. But 35 years after she met the love of her life. married him, and he whisked her away to the suburbs of Rochester (yes Rochester, NY.) She still lives there where they have raised a family and where she still happily lives.

Her main activity, though, is writing flash fiction, and as of 2008 she has had close to three hundred of her stories published in on–line journals and small–press print magazines such as Long Story Short, The First Line, Thema, Laughter Loaf, Retrozine, and Cenotaph Pocket Edition, Mouth Full of Bullets. Her proudest achievements, however, have been receiving an honorable mention in the "02 Writer's Digest competition, and being nominated in '06 by Mindprints magazine for a Pushcart prize.

You can view more of Margaret's work at her Website.

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©Margie Culbertson

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