The Humor and Life, in Particular Web site
author:  Margie Culbertson

June/July 2005 Humor Writing Contest Winner
Best Very Short Humor!

I Descended From Lucy



Lucy, discovered in eastern Ethiopia, lived more than 3 million years ago. She belongs to pre–humanity. The first European human beings came later on, as it is the case for our famous neighbor, the man from Tautavel (approximately 400 000 years ago). [Quoted from:  Man As A Predator http: //]

Recently, my son was asked to write an essay on his heritage. I dutifully searched the net for articles pertaining to the many aspects of our lineage and, although his paper took a different direction than if I had written it, it came out fine.

After pouring over the information I had gathered, I began to feel a certain kinship toward a lovely woman who existed more than three million years ago. Lucy. She is so far removed from our genealogical traits that few see her presence as any value in our never–ending search to find our roots. "Surely, true homo sapiens must have divided away from her somehow," they conclude. I on the other hand, am quite comfortable associating myself with her.

We fear the same things – monsters, for one. Yes, I fear monsters, too – those saber–toothed, aggressive and nano–brained creatures that would prey on us at schools, jobs or during peak–traffic–hours.

We clamber to find food. I am sure Lucy had to struggle to obtain nutritious foods. And, considering all the de–natured, devitalized, bleached and over–processed foods of our times, I believe that I am in the same boat!

We lack social interaction. In spite of all the crowded spaces I occupy during my daily duties, I am certain that my attempts at communication are as glib and shallow as any Lucy could have encountered – she not having a language, and all. It is as if I have no communications skills when I try to get co–workers and of course, my children, to understand me.

We don't have suitable clothing. Lucy had it hard. She had the ice–age to contend with. If she didn't have a club with which to garner a nice fur coat, she was left out in the cold! God–forbid I have a social event to attend – when that happens I am either too big for a suitable cocktail dress or, too small for an appropriate pant suit! At that point, I am out in the cold, too!

We wander aimlessly, searching for "we know not what." Well, if I were Lucy, I would be traveling AWAY from the monsters, into some cave…except for the fact, of course, that many monsters of her time LIVED in the caves! But here again, there are similarities. I have changed jobs to escape predatory grumblings and, in lieu of finding friendlier ground, holed myself away in my computer room. I search the net looking for "I know not what" while fighting away the invasive monsters who occupy adjoining spaces. But, I am not so lonely in here any longer. I have found Lucy.

© McChris

CCC is my pen name. I got the name when playing a video game with my then, 9–year–old son. I had been too lazy to think of a name for a real "character," that day…but, my son loved it. He uses CCC as his moniker on the internet sometimes…I didn't know that until I showed him this piece…(AFTER) submitting it for the contest. (Isn't that always the way it goes?) So, if you see a very sophisticated piece from CCC someday – just figure it's probably my son's writing! …PS. This is my third time being published. I am grateful for the wonderful opportunities available to writers today.

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©Margie Culbertson

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